After more than twenty years flying airliners, I've noticed that nervous passengers are rarely scared of flying itself. They're scared of what they don't understand. So most of these tips are about filling in the gaps, plus a few practical tools for the day itself.
Before you fly
1. Learn the normal sounds. The thuds, whines and "barking dog" noise are all routine. Knowing them in advance takes away the surprise. Start with airplane noises explained.
2. Understand turbulence. It feels dramatic, but airliners are built for it and pilots plan for it. Read is turbulence dangerous? before your flight, not during it.
3. Know who is flying you. Airline pilots train for years, and our skills are checked in the simulator twice a year, including in situations we hope never to see for real.
4. Practise one breathing technique. Breathe in for a count of five and out for a count of five. Practise it at home for a few days so it's automatic on board. More in my breathing guide.
5. Choose your seat. Over the wing tends to feel smoother. See my guide to the best seats for nervous flyers.
On the day
6. Leave early. Rushing raises your heart rate before you've even boarded. Give yourself plenty of time.
7. Go easy on caffeine and alcohol. Both can make anxiety feel stronger.
8. Tell the crew. A quick word as you board is common. Crews are used to it and are happy to help.
On board
9. Watch the cabin crew. They fly every day. If they're calm and going about their work, things are normal.
10. Keep your seatbelt fastened whenever you're seated. It's the simplest way to stay comfortable if the air gets bumpy, and it lets you relax rather than brace.
11. Give your mind a job. A film, a puzzle, a podcast, or counting your breaths. A busy mind has less room for "what ifs". Noise-cancelling headphones help many nervous flyers.
12. Expect the sensations. Engines quieten after take-off, the aircraft banks in turns, and you may feel a float as we level off or start the descent. These are planned. If you'd like to know why, read why the plane suddenly drops and what a go-around is.
The captain's bottom line
You don't need to stop feeling nervous to fly. You need to understand what's happening and have a few tools ready. For a pocket version of the sounds and sensations, get my free illustrated Turbulence & Aircraft Sounds guide. For a full, step-by-step programme, join the course waitlist.
Want this in your pocket?
Download my free illustrated PDF, Turbulence & Aircraft Sounds Explained by an Airline Captain, and take it on your next flight.
Get the free guideFrequently asked questions
What is the best tip for fear of flying?
Understanding what is happening. Most fear of flying comes from the unknown: a noise, a bump or a pause you can't explain. Learning what those things are, before you fly, takes away much of their power.
Where should a nervous flyer sit?
Many nervous flyers feel best over the wing, where the ride tends to feel smoother, and near the front, where it's often quieter. An aisle seat can help if you like to stretch or don't want to look out.
Do pilots get scared of turbulence?
Turbulence is a normal part of our working day. For pilots it's usually a comfort issue, not a safety one. We slow to a recommended turbulence speed, keep the seatbelt sign on and often ask for a smoother altitude.
This article is general information, not medical or professional advice. Always follow instructions from your crew. If fear of flying seriously affects your life, please speak to a doctor or qualified therapist.
